How I Met Dexter: A Murder & Macchiatos Mashup

This post was inspired by the following tweet:

@sethmeyers21: If you combined my two favorite shows

you would have Breaking Badchelorette.

I have a feeling this fall is going to be really busy - from football (which I'll try not to talk about too much) and my new blog project (which you'll hear about later), to work, family, and the holidays.

What would make things a whole lot easier is if my two favorite shows were combined. I started thinking about the idea and it might actually be possible.

So now folks, I present you with the second ever

Murder & Macchiatos Mashup!

WARNING: THIS POST MAY BE LACED WITH

SPOILERS

FROM DEXTER SEASONS 1-6 & HIMYM SEASONS 1-7

Remember when we thought the Trinity Killer was dead? Turns out he's alive and living in NYC under the guise of reuniting with his estranged son - that's right folks, the Trinity Killer is Barney Stintson's dad.

Now that Deb knows Dexter's secret, there's no better time to travel to the city that never sleeps, a land filled with dark alleys and a plethera of killers.

Of course, transportation is going to be a problem - which just means that this season's partner in crime is...RANJIT!

Dexter must cozy up to Barney in order to keep tabs on Trinity, but he finds it tricky to get work done when Barney's constantly busting through the door and insisting that they go party. Dexter thinks about killing Barney, just to get him out of the way...but, of course, that would be against the code.

Barney's friends are great though - Lily & the new baby adore Harrison, Robin has a secret gun stash, and Marshall also talks to his deceased father.

Of course, that Ted guy's a bit needy. He won't shut up about how lonely he is in his new apartment or how he's never going to find "the one." Dexter thinks about taking a feild trip to Ted's deserted house in Westchester to silence the whining forever. Unfortunately, that would also be against the code.

On the path to Trinity, Dexter encounters plenty of worthy kills. First, there's a guy who looks like Moby whose specialty is shooting people at crowded New Year's parties. After that is a man who strips naked on the first date and kills the women during pity sex.

By the end of the season, Dexter comes to appreciate Barney's influence. He finds himself saying, "Murder Suit Up" and "Challenge Accepted." Sometimes, on a really good kill, he even whispers to the victim, "This is going to be legen...wait for it...dairy."

I don't really want to spoil the season finale, but let's just say it ends with John Lithgow walking across McClaren's and saying, "Hello, Dexter Morgan."

Expect plenty of voice-over narratives this season and the revival of Dawson's Murder Train song.

The Sparks-Inspired Gosling Mashup Madness

Have you heard the news? Nicholas Sparks is letting everyone write his next book.

Starting today, add one sentence or one paragraph to the morphing story. Find the details here:
                   http://firstsentences.usaweekend.com/details/

I'm curious whether or not this project will yield a true Sparksian story. His contributions are limited to the title, the first sentence, and the last sentence. Will dedicated fans be able to come together to mimic this beloved storyteller?

Of course, we'll have to remember a few unspoken rules - give it movie potential, weave in an epistolary theme and it has to take place in North Carolina.

And maybe some Ryan Gosling.

                                       Definitely some Ryan Gosling.

And why not some genre-breaking. I mean, Gosling hops around from romance to thriller to indie drama. Why can't this new modern Sparks novel do the same?

      How about a Gosling mashup retelling of The Notebook...

"They met the night of the carnival" after Noah's football captain almost died in a car crash. "After seeing Allie that night, something in Noah snapped" and he finally realized that his current girlfriend was really an inflatable doll.


Despite his busy warrior training schedule, Noah made time to ride bikes with Allie and shove ice cream in her face. And suddenly it was love...until her parents found a letter he wrote to his classmate in which he detailed the random murder experiment they were planning. When Allie refused to break-up with Noah, her parents rushed her out of town in the early dawn hours.


Over the years, Noah wrote to Allie about his struggle to bring down a fellow murderer and the temptation to falsify evidence...but, worried for Allie's safety, her mother hid the letters in the trunk of her car.


Then one day, Allie saw Noah's face in the newspaper and thought it was an ad for his house, their house (Really, come on? Who posts a half-page photo of the previous homeowner in a newspaper real estate ad?), but really it reporting his involvement with a campaign intern's suicide.


Allie ran away from home, desperate to reunite with Noah. After a day of painting pictures in Noah's pajamas, she returned to her hotel room only to discover multiple voicemails from the boyfriend she left behind - he knows she's pregnant and he's going to come after Noah.


The hotel concierge remembers seeing Allie enter the building that night. It was the last confirmed sighting of this beautiful young woman. A neighbor of Noah's claimed to have seen odd lighting coming from Noah's basement, but that was the only movement in the case of Allie's disappearance. She was never seen again.


Heartbroken, Noah drove around some and then spent the rest of his life at a retirement home, watching the lake and playing the piano.


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But anyways, seriously, back to reality - who's helping Nicholas Sparks write his book?


                      Shout-out to some related trends on the Twitterverse:

                 For some literary Gosling goodness follow @GoslingLitAgent
       For more collective storytelling checkout Writer's Digest's #storyfriday
                   (This blogger is not associated with either, just a fan who wants to spread the word)